Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Traffic Laws: A Comparison

Kentucky:

Speed Limit 55 mph
Translation: Drive 65-70 mph

Yellow Light
Translation: Speed up

Just-Turned-Red Light
Translation: SPEED UP YOU CAN STILL MAKE IT!!!!

Right of Way
Translation: The driver with the biggest vehicle goes first.

Stop Sign
Translation: Wait... we have those?

Left Turn Signal On
Translation: I accidentally hit that mysterious stick on my steering wheel while swatting at that fly 20 miles back.

Right Turn Signal On
Translation: I accidentally hit that mysterious stick on my steering wheel while rolling up my window when it started to rain 10 minutes ago.

No Turn Signal 
Translation: Turning right and left, whenever I want to. Probably at the same time.

What Your GPS Says
Turn left at the second fork past the black barn. Continue "straight" for 12 miles. Turn right past the third horse farm with the stone wall. Make a U-turn. You are off the road. Turn around. Turn around now! NOW!

Iowa:

Speed Limit 60 mph
Translation: Drive 60 mph

Yellow Light
Translation: Clear the intersection

Just-Turned-Red-Light
Translation: Stop

Right of Way
Translation: "Hi neighbor! Why don't you go first?" "No, you first." "No, really, I insist. You first." "I'm quite enjoying sitting here at this intersection, so please, go ahead." "Oh. Well, okay. Thank you, neighbor!"

Stop Sign
Translation: Stop. Look. Go.

Left Turn Signal On
Translation: I'm turning left soon.

Right Turn Signal On
Translation: I'm turning right soon.

No Turn Signal
Translation: I'm not turning.

What Your GPS Says
Oh wait! I don't even USE my GPS here! That's right, I, the same horrible with directions Christy who previously drove (and frequently got lost) in Ohio and Kentucky, now find my destinations simply by glancing at a map before I leave. In Des Moines, north-south roads are numbered (higher the farther west you go) and there are several east-west roads that go all the way across the main area of the region and are easy to remember. What's that? You want to go to Aldi? Well, my friend, you simply have to hop on I-235 East, get off on 68th Street, go north until you hit Douglas and then take a right. If you don't want to get on the highway, you can take University to 68th instead. Or, if you prefer, you can take 31st St north and turn left on Douglas. (Okay, okay, 31st does shift east and turn into 30th, and then into Euclid. Life is difficult sometimes. Get over it.) How simple is that!? It all just makes so much sense!

All that to say, Kentucky will always, always, always have a special place in my heart... but I like driving in Iowa better.

2 comments:

  1. This is so great!!
    We have definitely learned the "Lexington Yellow" rule and freak my Pennsylvania Parents out when they come down to visit. We have also had to remember that driving in PA isn't the same as KY.

    Glad you are settling into the new life!

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  2. Favorite Part:
    "No Turn Signal
    Translation: Turning right and left, whenever I want to. Probably at the same time."

    I laughed out loud.

    ReplyDelete